I’ve now eaten escargot. They are, as anyone who has eaten them can attest, rather chewy. And that’s about all there is to say about them. They’re not very flavorful, just a little chewy eraser in a fabulous garlic sauce.

Some French phrases to look out for...

J’ai chaud – I’m hot!

Je suis chaud – I’m really turned on.

J’ai fini. – I’m done

Je suis fini – I’m dead! (“I’m finished.”)

Je suis pleine (lit. “I’m full”) – I’m a pregnant animal. (Go with “Je n’ai plus faim”)

Un baiser (noun) – a kiss (and an innocent one at that, your grandma could ask for a baiser)

Baiser (verb) – to screw

*This one’s my favorite. In French and in English it’s usually a safe bet that you can turn nouns into verbs and vice versa, “google” pretty easily became “to google” (“googliser” in French), “text” became “to text” (“texter”). Somewhere in the history of the French language, “a kiss” became “to screw.” It gives me no end of joy. And confusion. I’m never really sure what people want to do to me in the streets…

Je suis bien. - I'm good!

Je suis bon. - I'm good in bed.