Memphis > London

Here's a few things I've noticed:

1) Both Memphis and London are completely un-walker friendly. Entirely. Yes, there might be sidewalks, but both cities have spent time expanding out, rather than up, so they're both absolutely huge. I like to walk, so that's not usually a problem, except that neither city has anything to look at between point A and point B. Office buildings - yeehaw. Added to this are the "Walking Paths" outlined on some maps. The one I strolled down yesterday took me through a car park (not shitting you) and through an unloading dock before abruptly ending and telling me if I walked forward, it'd be trespassing. If you're traveling in London or Memphis, I advise you, rent a car.

2) You must rent a car because of number 2. Both cities have absolutely no comprehensible system of public transport. Now, in Memphis, this is largely because of political corruption and bad management. In London I believe you might be able to get around on a good day, but they get placed in this category because a few lines are under construction but there's absolutely no way to figure out which lines and how to get around these lines or others ways to get around. London is the only city in which I have declared defeat and hailed a cab.

3) They both have King's houses. And all of these houses are tourist traps. The Brits went so far as to install moving walkways in front of the crown jewels to keep people moving. If you want a blatant tourist-herd, go to the real King's house, Graceland, where at least the visitors dress interestingly enough to keep you, well, interested.

Now, those are my arguments as to why Memphis = London, but that's not my main thesis.

Why Memphis > London

1) Food. Meat Pie is awesome. Great invention, good job British. But then they named the rest of their food "spotted dick" and "toad in a hole." Who wants to eat that when you could have fried chicken, gravy, sweet tea, shrimp po-boys, and, obviously, BBQ? Come on. This one's a no brainer.

2) Soul. Memphis has it, London doesn't. End of story.

3) Memphis is hundreds of times cheaper. It's four pounds to take the metro here. FOUR. That's before conversion rates! And it's two to take the bus - and there's no way to buy a pass if you have to switch buses, you have to buy a new ticket on the new bus.

As you can see, London hasn't really done a good job of impressing me much. It's actually done a super good job of being completely unthrilling. On a scale of one to ten, judging how much you need to visit this city, I'd give London a three. Now, Memphis on the other hand...